Maria Rubio Arteaga: Precious Time
In February 2020, I attended a Saturday tour at Lander University. During our information session, sitting in a lecture room on campus, the admission counselor told us all the opportunities, and the reasons why I should commit. The two “whys” that stuck out to me were the Honors College program and the study abroad program, so much so that I decided that day that Lander was the school for me.
From that moment on, I made it a goal, a mission, to do everything I could to get the opportunity to travel abroad. During the spring semester of my sophomore year, 2022, alongside Dr. Mentley decided on Madrid, Spain. I remember calling home and telling my parents, I had done it, I was accomplishing my goal.
Fast forward, it’s January 2023, and I made it to Madrid. Right away, I felt that it was going to be an overwhelming experience, with so many sights, sounds, and smells. The first couple of days involved getting into a routine and figuring out my way around home, at school, and in the city. It was very surreal; I couldn’t believe that I was finally there.
However, reality begun to set in, I was far away from home. I could feel myself getting homesick, but I couldn’t understand why. This was exactly what I wanted, what I worked towards, but somehow my expectations weren’t being met. I wasn’t meeting people left and right, going out every weekend and enjoying the nightlife, doing coffee dates after class, or much of anything outside of class time. I wasn’t used to feeling alone; I’m usually a person who finds friends quickly, but it just wasn’t happening. I wasn’t settling in.
All I wanted was to go back home. I would go to class, do my after-school activity, and sit in my room for the rest of the night. I remember my host mom being concerned; constantly asking how I was feeling and if I had made any plans. I was stuck in this mental rut, and I couldn’t figure out how to get out of it. I was beginning to regret my choice; I wasn’t sure if Madrid had been the right choice after all. Until the beginning of February, when we took a school trip to Toledo, a small municipality near Madrid. Students from all levels/courses were welcome to come. Before this, most of the trips I’d taken around the city would involve my peer (Ashley), the professor, and me. So, I was excited to see some new faces. During the bus ride, I was amping myself up to talk to at least one new person. This was my opportunity. As soon as I got off the bus, I walked up to a couple of them and introduced myself, and that’s all it took; it was almost instant that we all clicked.
We spent the rest of the day, getting to know each other, cracking jokes, being photographers for each other, and enjoying the company. We especially bonded over food and wanted recommendations for places around Madrid. We were such an odd group of people, all ranging in nationality, age, and profession, but somehow, we just clicked. During lunch, we were discussing trips, everyone was taking turns talking about the places they had been or places they wanted to go to. Many of them mentioned the solo and spontaneous trips they had taken and when they asked me, I didn’t have anything to add. In my time there, I hadn’t taken advantage of the opportunity, all I had been doing was moping about the hypothetical situations I had built.
After returning to the city that day, we even got dinner to prolong our time together. At the end of the night, we got each other’s WhatsApp numbers, said our farewells, and promised to get together soon.
That night I went home with a smile on my face, feeling accomplished. I realized that this had been exactly what I needed. Bonding with this group of lovely strangers helped me understand that this experience this trip would be what I made of it. I didn’t need others to shape it for me, I had to do that on my own.
So, after this trip, I started making these experiences happen. I booked my spontaneous trip to Valencia a week later, and after this trip, I couldn’t be stopped. I booked almost every weekend with trips; I was determined to see as much of Europe as I could. I knew I needed to get out of my way. As soon as I started exploring, everything fell into place: going on coffee runs, forming random friendships, and enjoying the nightlife. I started to get attached to my life there. I was seeking out the memories I wanted to remember, reminding myself of the reason I’d wanted to study abroad.
However, as I look back, many factors were outside of my control. As a student with a high level of Spanish, I was placed in an intensive course, which meant there were limited students. Also, because it was a language international school, most students would come and go, staying only for a short time. Outside of class time, students would go get a snack during break time and after classes ended most would quickly leave. This meant there wasn’t much room for building friendships. I could have tried harder to insert myself into these groups, but like most people, fear of rejection was set in. I will admit though, my expectations were set too high. I had already imagined my time there and made up all the perfect scenarios. I wasn’t being realistic about possible challenges. This unfortunately cost me time; I wasted a month of my abroad experience because it wasn’t meeting my made-up scenarios.
This experience was chaotic and uncomfortable at moments, but this was exactly what I needed. This trip helped me discover a new side to myself, I grew to love my own company. It forced me to live in the present and realize that worrying so much about the future will only make waste my present.
Maria Rubio Arteaga, from Columbia, is a senior psychology and Spanish major graduating in May 2024. She is a member of the Honors College, co-President of the Psi Chi chapter, and is working on research. After graduation, Maria plans to pursue a school counseling graduate program.