Ashley Vargas-Luna: Through Different Eyes
Going to study abroad in Madrid made me realize what a judgmental and closed-minded person I was.
Before leaving, I thought that I was open to trying new things and always assumed the best of people. During the first few hours of the flight from the United States to Europe, all I could think about was the differences between USA, Spain, and Mexico, the difference between the culture, the food, the people, and the difference between a city and a small town. Before I left, I was told that there was a difference between southern Americans and Spaniards: Southern Americans would be very polite and greet you with a smile, but Spaniards came off as rude and blunt. I had all these assumptions going around in my head but at the same time I said I was keeping an open mind.
The first couple weeks in Spain, I got to be in a native speaker's class with Maria, another Lander student, and a dozen or so students from another university. After those students left, Maria and I ended up being alone with the professor in the class. Sometimes it got awkward since it was only the three of us.
A few days later, a new girl joined our class, and her name was Isabel. I remember the first day I saw her. She was wearing a red cropped top, a black skirt with a slit on it, and tall black boots. She was tall with blonde hair, and she was very beautiful. Every time I saw her, she walked with absolute confidence. I was usually wearing sweatpants and a boring top since it was very cold. But every time I saw her, she would always wear a cute outfit.
For the first couple of days after meeting her, I sat in my seat and assumed that she was one of those girls that wanted attention because of the way she was dressed. But Maria and I started talking to her since it was only us three in our class. Isabel would tell us stories about her being with guys and her romantic experiences. She had mentioned her little sister Greta and her dad, but she never said anything about her mom. Maria and I would usually sit and listen and then comment. My impression of her was that she would hook up with different guys and she would dress like that to have attention from different men.
We got to know her a little better halfway through our time there. We went out to try new restaurants and bars and just explore the city. Almost every day we hung out together. We introduced her to Valentina sauce, NYC Bagels, and church. We laughed all the time, and we did have meaningful conversations. She gave us advice on how to stand up for ourselves and expect nothing less than princess treatment. She also told us that we shouldn’t have to run to get somewhere because hot girls don’t run, that we should never pay if a man wants to see us, and that a baguette plus guacamole is a meal. We talked about our personal lives a little bit and shared what it is like to live in America. Every time something she’d seen on TikTok seemed odd we would say “It’s an American thing” and then laugh. She asked us if it was all like the movies and we both agreed it kind of was.
We shared a lot of good times, but the most heartfelt moment I had with her was when we all went out to eat smash burgers and Maria and I worked up the courage to ask her about her mom. We had been planning on going to this place for a long time since it had refills on French fries. The place was called Basic by Goiko. It was super close to our host home but there was always a line. We picked a day to go right when it opened, and the line was small. When we got seated the vibe had been peaceful and relaxing since we were about to get food and refills on our French fries. But as soon as we asked her about her mom, her face went from smiling to serious. She rolled her eyes back and put her burger down. She looked at both of us and told us that her mom left her when she was twelve and ever since then it was just her, Greta, and her dad. She told us that after her mom left, she felt sad and didn’t want to live in Germany anymore, so she went to study abroad in the UK. Then she told us that her time away from Germany wasn’t enough, so she decided to move to Madrid to go to uni.
Reflecting to my time I had with her in person, I wish I didn’t have that mindset when I first met her. She became one of my close friends and she did feel like home. She is so much more than a tall blond and a pretty face. She is smart and interesting to get to know. Opening up to people was hard since I knew our time was going to be cut short, but we still keep in contact. She updates us on her boy drama and sends us tik tok’s and we keep her updated on our American lives.
After experiencing this with her, I realized that I needed to take a step back and step into people’s shoes. I had no idea what she was going through, but I decided what type of person she was just by looking at her and the way she dressed. Now that I am back home, I am more cautious and more considerate on how I perceive people. I never know a person’s situation and I can’t simply judge them by the way they present themselves. I look back at my time before Spain and realize that I in fact was not an open-minded person.
From left to right: Ashley, Maria, and Isabel
Ashley Vargas-Luna is from Greenwood. She is graduating spring 2025 with a BS in Biology. She has plans to attend graduate school to further her education to work in healthcare.