Maren White: Life Goes On

Growing up as a student-athlete, I learned to appreciate time as a precious resource and ability for opportunity. Growing older, I have struggled to find the happy medium between being lazy and busy. Having too much time felt like something was wrong, and being too busy created unhealthy habits that were buried by the agenda of the next day. Escaping that system gave me a different way to live based on my own accord.

In the summer of 2024, I was living in Charleston, three hours away from home with an IT internship and free time on my hands that I had never experienced before. I found a new felt excitement rush through my body with a constant voice saying “what am I going to do next.”

Every experience I had felt greater than the last. I went to soccer games, baseball games, and concerts with friends whenever I wanted to. Unlike school, I was able to leave my work life at work and not have to think about a homework assignment that was due at midnight that night. I got a taste of my next phase of life which made me crave it more. This enjoyment was an entirely new feeling, and I never wanted it to end. Unfortunately, reality came at me fast as I was hit with unexpected news.

I knew that the time I would have to say goodbye was near, I just could not figure out when it would be. It crushed me every time I came home that there would be one less to greet me at the door, and I prayed that each time wouldn’t be the last.

It was a regular Thursday in June going into the office with my team. There was an unpleasant squeaking sound as I pushed open the sliding door to my cubicle. Home sweet home. Still standing, I said hello to my cubicle neighbor and had a quick chat before getting to work.

We continued working on our AI boxing project for the company. The goal of the project was to create a state-of-the-art beverage display recognition survey. In simpler terms, this tool would help the service representatives that go out to stores to count the number of cases in the displays much more efficiently. To create this tool, we broke down thousands of images using bounding boxes to supply large amounts of data. I was involved in this project for the last month of my internship.

I went about my business with a rush of excitement knowing that weekend I was going to Columbia to celebrate with some teammates for a 21st birthday party - what could possibly get in the way? Time seemed to fly by that day, and I stayed an extra 30 minutes in the office as I was planning on leaving early the next day. Since I could only work 40 hours a week, my boss let me stack up time early throughout the week so on Friday I could leave a couple hours early. The squeaking of my closing door signified the end of my work day, but the night was long from being over.

That afternoon I had a small group training with my teammate, so I did not end up getting home until 6:30. Her mom made us dinner earlier, so when we got back, we heated it in the microwave and sat at the dining room table. While eating, I realized my phone was on the ground and was vibrating due to an incoming FaceTime call from my mom. I thought it was a little odd because I had talked to her earlier in the day, so I just texted saying I would call her back since I was eating dinner.

Ten minutes later, the dreadful moment hit. My mom told me that earlier in the day they put down my childhood dog Willow. I was stunned, and had no idea how to react. Even after knowing for so long that I didn’t have a lot of time left, the words didn’t sound real.

It wasn’t until after I hung up the phone that reality started to set in. My energy and excitement for the days to follow suddenly went from one hundred to well below zero, and I had no idea what to do. After being prideful of constantly finding the answer to what happens next, I was stuck at square one. I made a few phone calls to my close friends before being asked, “So what about work tomorrow?” My brain immediately went to “I can’t miss a day of work,” but then I realized there was no way I could sit at my desk for six hours pretending like everything was okay.

I had a good relationship with my boss, and he was completely understanding of the situation. Next, I had to face my teammate and tell her what was going on. As I broke down to her, she gave me a much-needed hug before helping me on my way out. Her mom had just baked cookies 30 minutes before and graciously gave me the whole bowl as I was walking out the door.

I hopped into my car and silently drove in the rain for 20 minutes as I began piecing up what I was going to do next. As much as I wanted to stop doing everything that I had worked for this summer, I decided I had to keep moving on. I thought, “Tomorrow will be a new day, and I have so much more to look forward to, even if I’m not seeing it in this moment.”

I enjoyed my short time at home with my family before leaving the next day for Columbia. This time allowed me to reflect on both Willow’s life and my own. Realizing that she went through a roller coaster of events over her 15 years showed me that I had gone through so much in just those last few months. Moving my whole life to a new city for a new opportunity felt like leaving for college for the first time and having to make new friends again. These experiences are things that I will carry to whatever opportunity opens up next.

Since that day in June, I have come to terms with a few things. Nobody will live forever, true friends and family will be there for you no matter what, and letting go can mean a step forward in another direction. Despite these, number one on that list is that life moves on. That regular Thursday in Charleston turned into one of the worst nights of the year in the matter of a FaceTime call.

The pain of losing someone or something close to you is indescribable, but going through this time while away for my internship made it more difficult. I still had a support system around me, but this time it was a different kind. If anything, this time taught me to look to the people around me and find joy in any moment you can. I obviously had my own family and friends that I held close from three hours away, but I was living with another family that supported me and treated me as their own. I also had my team at work that helped me move forward whether they knew it or not. Confiding in these groups of people helped me to realize that I was right where I needed to be.

Willow taught me so many things that I will hold on to through every step of my life: how to be loyal, strong, independent, and a protector. She did things her own way, took care of her people proudly, and made sure everyone around her knew she loved them. She continued through her last days for the support system around her, and most importantly she stayed true to herself. After days of laying around the house with no energy, she would manage to surprise us all by running through the yard with a huge smile on her face. Somehow it felt like she always knew that life would still go on.

Maren White is a student-athlete at Lander University studying Cybersecurity and planning to graduate in the spring of 2025. During the summer of 2024 she completed an internship with the Southern Crown Partners beverage distribution company in Charleston, SC as an IT intern. Following graduation, she plans on entering the work force in the cybersecurity field in hopes of pursuing a job in digital forensics.