Carrie Floth: Living in the Moment

Cathedral in Salisbury

I decided to go to a Christmas concert to support my new friend, Chris, who was singing with the King Alfred Singers. The concert was on campus in the chapel, a small building that was once used as the band room. In going, I was preparing to experience that moment for myself, without relying on others for my own understanding and perception. It was nice to be able to sit by myself and just enjoy the King Alfred Singers. I had initially not planned on going, but while I was at dinner, Chris messaged me asking if I was planning to attend. I had recently become his friend and there was no way I was going to miss an opportunity to support him. 

So, I made my way up the painful incline and seemingly endless staircase from the lower level of the cafeteria to the academic upper level. If it had not been bitterly cold, I would have been sweating profusely when I made it through the entryway of the chapel. As I stepped into the small building, my eyes were drawn to the baptismal font in the middle of the room. All I could think about was what kind of sound it would make if rubbed on the side, much like a wine glass for music or a singing bowl for meditation. 

I then looked around the room and noticed that, while the outside of the chapel looked like old stone, the inside was rather modern. The floors looked as though they were made of marble and the walls were a dark-stained wood, elegant and appealing to the eye. In the back of the room sat a small organ and on the other end was a stacked pulpit. Between them were lengthy pews made of light-stained wood, 7 on each side of the room. Overlooking it all was a stained-glass window depicting the beginning of Jesus’ life through his resurrection.

This evening was interesting because it involved audience participation. Upon entering the chapel, I was given a dusty yellow bulletin. On the cover, there was a picture of a sheep and the program was thoroughly planned out. What I had not prepared for was a new set of Christmas hymns that I was unfamiliar with. So, I sat in the chapel on the left end of a pew and practiced the hymns. While I was incorrectly guessing the melodies for the hymns, I heard three girls behind me discussing how mysterious and exciting it would be to go into a Walmart at two in the morning. I listened, enthralled by the lighthearted debate over whether it would be a good idea or not and I tried my best to hold in my smile and laughter. 

I failed. I made a comment and I watched as realization hit them. When I spoke, they noticed my accent immediately and they proceeded to ask questions about Walmart. And with that, my camouflage was void. I was no longer in that sea of people as a member of their ingroup. My cover had been blown and I was now doomed to be characterized by their perceptions. Before they could ask me any jarring questions, the organist began a loud interlude and the priest led us in the Lord’s Prayer, which was also different. Following a British rendition of ‘Away in a Manger,’ the King Alfred Singers began their story of the birth of Jesus.

Perhaps the most exciting part was that members of the audience were asked to bring different figurines down the aisle to build the manger scene. The manger scene consisted of a rather old and dusty shed-like structure around two feet tall that fit perfectly at the altar and in front of the choir. Following the first hymnal, the choir began singing and an audience member was helping their toddler carry the ‘baby Jesus’ figurine. The toddler was so cute and when they placed the figurine in the manger, they took a moment and pointed saying “That’s like me” and laughed as his mother carried him back to their pew. 

Manger Scene

The rest of the chosen audience members flowed between the pews in accordance with the singers and it brought about an intriguing rendition of the manger scene. These individuals had inadvertently managed to place the figurines where none of them were looking at Jesus. Mind you, some of these figurines were sheep. Not even the sheep were looking at Jesus. After the concert was done, and we had all realized what had happened, everyone was talking about it.

This opportunity allowed me to observe a more religious representation of the university and community members. Before this, I had only been in the Winchester Cathedral for graduation, not a religious meeting, and a smaller Baptist church with an old stained-glass window. Compared to my usual activities, the chapel provided a smaller, more intimate atmosphere for me to experience a British interpretation and practice of Christianity. I was adjusting and adapting to the new environment, especially given the differences in hymns. However, I did not feel as much pressure to conform in this instance. I had no problem getting some of the words wrong and I did not feel bad for not knowing these things. I understood that I was a foreigner there and I used that role to my advantage.

It was a shift in my interpretation of what I was supposed to get out of going abroad. This small Christmas concert with about 30 people in attendance was the epitome of what I wanted to get from studying abroad because it was something that I got to do on my own and it was a close-knit experience. When I was abroad, I felt that I was being held back, kept from experiencing Winchester as it was, not as I wished it to be. I wanted to go out, make my own friends, and have my own experiences. But I felt tethered to the life that I had been living in the United States. I felt that I was being held back and the concert was a moment for me to have my own experience without the influence of another. 

I was able to hide myself and blend in with the locals and be part of their culture without fearing that I could be recognized as a foreigner. The Christmas concert reminded me that it was my own problem and it was something I needed to fix. I was the one creating that bond, in a way, by not saying anything about it and letting it happen. From this, I know that I am my own person and it is ok for me to want to do my own things without immediately being a bad person.

Carrie Floth is a junior Psychology major/English minor from Beech Island, SC and will graduate in Spring 2020. She did her breakaway at the University of Winchester in the United Kingdom. Following graduation, she plans to pursue a master’s degree in Clinical Psychology.