Rachael Caddell: La Notte Scorsa

Arrivederci

It was a nice, warm night on Thursday, May 11^th 2017, when we had our final dinner for our study abroad program. All forty-six of us gathered around a long table to dig into some of our favorite Italian dishes prepared by local chefs. We all tried to look our best because we knew we would be taking plenty of photographs afterwards to remember this night. Some of the students gathered in the bathroom to take shots of Limoncello before the dining activities began, while others just sat and talked, reminiscing on the best five months of their life.

We all kind of knew what was coming that night: long talks, endless laughs, with the final destination being the train station to say “Arrivederci” to some of our new found best friends. This was a beautiful night with such beautiful souls. The venue was an outside terrace with flowers and a small vineyard. We sat on a patio lit by hanging lights and table candles. The chairs were wooden with red velvet and the table was probably the longest table I’ve ever sat at. We ate lasagna bolognese, tiramisu, and many other foods. This was a four course meal so we did not leave hungry.

I remember one of the students, Stuart, my neighbor from across the hall, standing up and giving a toast. He had been a year-round student and was loved by everyone in the group. He was from California and had that, “sah dude” kind of vibe to him. He was so sweet and had been through a lot in his life, but you could never tell. His toast was one of kind words and jokes. He was the one who started the domino crying effect. I looked at my friends that were gathered around me, my BB’s, as we called each other. I looked at them like I was looking at someone who knew every inch of my heart. These girls had been my best friends since the day we met in the airport. We bonded instantly and that bond had withheld many hardships within our five months together. 

There was Elaine, my roommate from Kansas, who always ended up in my bed somehow talking about life and giggling into the late hours of the night. We clicked instantly in the airport and have been like sisters since. My housemates were Adelyn and Celeste. Adelyn was a California hipster who challenged me in character traits but brought a fun, adventurous vibe to our group. Celeste, one of my roommates, had been my shoulder to cry on many times while I faced life’s realities in Italy. She had been my person to talk too, my girl that cooked Chinese food how it was supposed to be, and the one who kept me laughing and dancing all night long. She brought a sense of adventure with her that I had never witnessed before. Our “adopted housemate” was Katrina. I never once caught her in a bad mood and she always had the right words to say at the right time.

This night meant so much to me. It was more than just eating a last meal with friends, it was knowing deep in my heart that I may never see more than half of these people ever again. Obviously we had social media to stay in touch on, but it would never be the same. We couldn’t meet at Margherita anymore to drink wine out of straws and watch romantic Italian movies. Our long party nights on the Margherita rooftop had ended as well as all of our adventures. I want to almost compare it to the Last Supper, but not in a “I’m going to die tomorrow” kind of way, but more like, “I’m leaving you and hopefully we’ll reconnect later” kind of way. We took photographs that would capture the feelings and vibe of the venue, but it captured much more than that. These photographs with my friends are some of my favorite photographs I will ever have. They captured our relationship and love in one click.

After taking many photographs, we realized what time it was. Some of our friends were leaving that night to catch their early morning flights. We all held hands and walked to the train station, waiting at the platform we talked about some of our favorite moments. The clock seemed to tick a little faster than normal, and that train showed up right on time. I looked at my friends, Celeste and James, and started bawling. I hugged Celeste tight and cried hard while telling her that I loved her and would see her again soon. Next, I looked at James. He was from Michigan and wore pajama pants all over Italy. I never saw him with normal pants on. He also wore white New Balance tennis shoes with his pajama pants, it was his ‘signature look’. James was someone I confided in when I needed to vent. He was very rational and blunt with his words, always saying what he needed to say but you could tell it came from the heart. He gave me a note and told me to read it later because he knew it would make me cry way more than I already was.

As they stepped onto the train, I felt a feeling of heartbreak with a sting of peace. I knew my time with them had ended and that this season of my life would be one of the best, most memorable exciting times I would ever be able to live through. They made that experience so much better. After all of us stood on that train platform waving until we couldn’t see the train anymore, we walked back home, holding hands and singing all the way back. As my roommates and I walked into the door, we just stared at each other, knowing that one of us was gone. We didn’t want to cry anymore, so we gathered our wine bottles and our favorite Italian cookies, got in my bed, and just laid down all together. We talked about life and what we would do to stay in touch. We blew each other’s Snapchat stories up and laughed until we cried (again). I feel like we all knew what was about to happen, so we tried to enjoy every second left of our experience. Later that night, when Adelyn went into her room, and Elaine and I stayed in ours, it felt right. It felt normal, just like another night in our apartment when we’d wake up and go to school to learn more Italian.

Writing this paper and trying to decide what a key moment of my breakaway was made me realize what was most important. Yes, I got to see a lot of cool places and learn new cultures, but the people are what made it for me. Without my friends, my BB’s, the rest of the forty-six students, it wouldn’t have been the same. I don’t really know what it would have been like, and I don’t really want to imagine it any other way. The USAC group that I studied with were in my life for a reason, and they still are. They are the key moment that ties my entire breakaway experience together. They were my experience.

Rachael Caddell is a senior Communications and Media Studies major who will be graduating in May 2018. In Spring of 2017, she embarked on an adventure to Reggio Emilia, Italy to study abroad for a semester. After graduation, she plans to be a Photographer/Media Intern at Camp Fellowship in Greenwood, SC. After the summer, she will move to Greenville, SC to start her next adventure.