Mahayla McNeace: Any Regrets?

I studied abroad in Winchester, England for my spring 2024 semester of college. I was there four months, January through May. This was an amazing experience, but I will always have some regrets about it. When I think about this time in my life, I will always think about what I did not do because of the fear holding me back. One of the biggest examples would be the first weekend I was in England.

I can remember the first day I got to England; it was a Thursday afternoon. My roommate and I got off the airplane, went through customs, and gathered our checked bags. We had instructions to go to Terminal 2 and wait beside Café Nero and the drugstore Boots. We walked towards the exit and found where we thought we were supposed to be, as there were two other people from Lander there (as seen on their bags). After introducing ourselves, we were wondering if we were in the right place but having just landed, none of us really had service or a way to communicate with anyone. After waiting for a while, we realized we were in the wrong terminal. We made our way to the right terminal and found our guide and the rest of the group.

Now, it was time to board the bus to take us to Winchester. It was about an hour and a half ride and it was the time that everything started to sink in. I was exhausted because we missed our first flight, were placed on the midnight one, and were cramped between people for seven hours. I was also upset because I wasn’t able to contact anyone. I couldn’t even let my family know that I had landed and was safe. I was thinking to myself, “Why would I do this?” “I want to go home”, “I miss my family.” I was already dreading being there and then quickly realized I had four months to go and definitely couldn’t turn back now.

When we got to the University of Winchester, I immediately realized that it wasn’t like anything I thought it would be. We quickly got our keys, were grouped up, and then were taken to where we would be living for the next four months. The university is kind of intertwined with a hill and of course, my flat was at the very bottom, so imagine me carrying two suitcases, one almost my size, down several flights of stairs. After we got to our flat, my roommate and I parted ways (we had our own rooms in England) and I was left to my thoughts again. I got to my room and none of my flat mates were there because they had not come back from break yet. So here I was, all alone, in a new country with no one and no way to contact anyone. I was so scared to go out and so sad about missing my family that I didn’t even try to go anywhere. I was starving but luckily, I packed plane snacks, so I ate trail mix and freeze-dried fruit for dinner. When I was unpacking, I realized I had the wrong converters, so I had to use my computer to charge my phone. Eventually, I was able to contact my family and then I fell asleep hoping the next day would be better.

The next day, Friday, we had orientation. It was my first morning waking up in a new country and all of the emotions from the night before came flooding back. Along with the emotions, my phone was dying and no one at home was up, it was freezing outside, and on top of all of that was the gnawing hunger. When I got to orientation, I met up with all of the people that were also from Lander. We talked a little bit and realized that we all had horrible first nights; none of us had ate dinner or explored the town and most of us cried. This was comforting to hear that we were all experiencing similar emotions. Then, it was time to explore.

We decided to go into town, but we didn’t realize it was a short walk away from the university, so we unnecessarily waited for a bus. We explored the town a little bit and then we wanted to get things we forgot to bring or needed to buy. We heard there was a Tesco, similar to Walmart, in Winchester but we didn’t really know which bus to get on and which bus stop to wait at. We figured out what bus would take us in the right direction, but it only went so far so we had to walk the rest of the way. We finally made it to Tesco and got the things we needed: chargers, food, blankets, pillows, sheets, towels, etc. Then, we realized the buses don’t run after seven, so we were stranded. With a bag or two each, and it being pitch black outside, we had no other choice but to walk back to the University. After a cold, forty minute walk, we made it back and we ordered a pizza, finally having real food. At this point, I was 0 and 2 with England.

Saturday, we went back into town and explored it more in depth. We had our first dining experience at a pizza place. We ordered drinks and pizza and then remembered we didn’t get free refills. We had to come up with something so we wouldn’t finish our drinks before our food came, so I suggested that whoever took the next sip of their drink had to pay for everyone’s meal. After eating it was time to pay, and I was so scared of this. I didn’t know if my card would work and if the process was similar to the US. But luckily, my card worked, and it wasn’t scary at all. It only felt weird not to tip. This was the day that our experience really started looking up.

Then came Sunday and we had a reservation at a place called Josie’s. It was delicious and one Lander student, Danielle, was brave enough to try a traditional English breakfast. The rest of us stuck to what was most familiar. After eating, we explored the university and looked to see where our classes would be. This was a good morning because having this group of friends helped me to not feel so lonely and distant from home. We were able to talk about our anxiety for class to start the next day. Then Monday came along with my first day of class. I think this was the most anxiety I have ever had about a first day. It was probably how I felt in kindergarten. But then I got to class and realized that no one was paying attention to me because no one really cared that I was American.

All of this to say, the first weekend was an experience that I will never forget. It will always be a memory I will think back to and laugh at because I was almost paralyzed with fear. But now writing about this, I would go back and do it all over again, not just the first weekend but the whole trip. I’m not saying that I wouldn’t still be afraid, but I would push myself more. I would question why I was more comfortable with going hungry than finding something to eat. I wish I had just jumped right in and that I was more ok with making mistakes. Because making mistakes and trying new things is ultimately what has to happen to learn. But that seems to be a common theme with my trip, constantly asking myself why didn’t I just do it? I think this will continue to be a lesson to be ok with making mistakes and making a fool of myself because it’s either that or regrets. And regrets are worse.

Mahayla McNeace is a Biology major with a minor in Forensic Science. She did her breakaway in Winchester, England during spring of 2024. She is expected to graduate in 2026 and plans to get her Master of Medical Science in Pathologists’ Assistant.