Madison Stansell: The Old Man Behind the Desk

When I first faced sexism in the workplace, I didn’t know how to feel. I just felt sick.

The kind of sick that placed a weight on my shoulders. The kind of sick that made me want to run. The kind of sick that settled in my throat when I tried to talk. The kind of sick that made me want to quit. The kind of sick that had anger crawling across my skin. The kind of sick that made me want to scream. The kind of sick where I didn’t know what to do. So, I smiled and nodded my head along.

I found myself falling in love with technology when there was a global push to have more girls get involved in STEM-related career paths. I, and most other people, were taught from a young age that STEM fields are dominated by those who identify as male. I never thought much about what this might mean for my career. I never thought of the stereotypes that people might hold and how those would impact my future jobs. It is an issue that I, and many others, never think much about until we are forced into experiencing it.

The first time I found myself facing sexist culture within my work was probably the worst day I had ever had on the job. During both my internship and work-study, I consistently repaired computers and prepped them for those who were going to use them in the future. I was used to working in various locations across campus, trekking from my office to wherever I was needed.

 On this specific day, I was working in a room that didn’t have AC in the middle of August in South Carolina. The relief that flooded over me was instant when I got the message from my supervisor to go help a staff member. When I got called away to help another staff member, my relief was instant.

The computer had failed an update, which in turn caused the computer to encounter a blue screen. While this was not a common issue, I had dealt with the issue a few times prior.

I immediately knew the fix after reading the help request. I got my coworkers set up to work without me, making sure they did not need anything. Then I left the heat, heading to start the troubleshooting process in the AC.

I walked into the chilled office, excited to have some sort of AC, and looked towards the older man sitting behind the desk. I had seen him around the campus before but had never worked on his computer. I happily greeted him, formally introducing myself as a technician. Stating that I was there to help him with his computer.

The old man behind the desk looked me over once and laughed to himself.

He looked at me and shook his head. The old man behind the desk said to me “This ain’t gonna work out sweetheart” in his old southern drawl.

I instantly start thinking that I had done something wrong in the few moments I was in his office. An apology halted on my tongue as the old man behind the desk continued his sentence, “Run go get me one of the boys to fix this thing”.

I took a step back, but this couldn’t be what I thought it was, right? There was no way he meant it in the way I took it.

I apologized to him for the fictitious offense I may have committed in the 30 seconds he let me talk, informing him I would happily get someone else to assist him. The old man behind the desk chuckled again and told me I hadn’t done anything wrong, just that the issue was complicated. The computer would be "too much" for me to handle.

I felt sick. I was left completely dumbfounded. I informed the man behind the desk that I was the senior technician on duty. My coworkers, or ‘the boys’ as he referred, had yet to work on a ticket like this. Despite my explanation as to why I was fully capable of resolving his issue, the man behind the desk disregarded me and demanded I go find a ‘man’ to help him.

I walked out of his office and stalked across the campus to my coworkers, the kind of sick I felt still clinging to me. I sat down with my coworker and walked him through how to fix the computer, answering questions at each step. I wished him luck as he left, hoping I would never have to see the man behind the desk again.

An issue that I could have had fixed within minutes turned into over an hour. All because rather than have a woman work on his computer, the old man behind the desk wanted a man, regardless of who had more experience.

At the very end of my workday, I informed my supervisor of what had happened that day. He explained to me that a large portion of the older, male staff members had an ‘old school’ way of viewing the world. I was then given a list of names. Names of people that would probably not allow me to work on their computers. A list of names of people who would not let me do my job, because of their ‘old school’ workplace culture.

I went home that day completely set back. Due to their age, dated views, and ‘experience’ the people on that list truly thought that I was less capable compared to my coworkers, who I was still training at this point. It was an astounding setback for me as a worker to see these beliefs displayed so blatantly, proudly even, in front of me. I wasn’t even able to react to the situation in a negative way, I could only stand there and feel sick. From that point on, I had this issue pop up once or twice. Each time I forced myself to grin and bear it as my work and capability were called into question-based upon my gender.

Looking back on situations, I always think of what I could have done, what I could have said. I didn’t want to feel sick. I didn’t want this kind of sick to stick with me. The ‘old school’ ways of thought and action run rampant among older workers, creating a severe cultural difference between them and younger workers starting out.

Whether I like it or not, the old man behind the desk opened my eyes to the challenges I will constantly have to fight. The idea is that sexism, misogyny, and the general reinforcement of what is considered ‘traditional’ gender roles are typically within workplace cultures run by older men across the globe. The old man behind the desk made me open my eyes.

Feeling sick and internalizing the negative experience was not going to help any situation. I was shown that sexism should not be overlooked, even on a small scale. Rather than stand to the side, calling attention to the old men behind the desk that I know I will face in the future, will lead to a change in workplace culture for the better.

Madison Stansell is a senior computer information systems major with an emphasis in networking. Madison will be graduating from Lander University in May of 2022. While at Lander, she completed an internship at Anderson I & II Career and Technology Center as a networking manager in the summer of 2019. Madison has since been a student worker for Lander University ITS, providing support to faculty and staff. Following her graduation, she intends to pursue a career in network administration.