Madison Montgomery: Pulling the Iron

Success can be measured in many ways. Sometimes, there is an immediate sense of accomplishment, like finishing a paper or a project. Other times, success can only be measured after time has passed and reflections can be made. To me, success is very personal; Success can only be measured using pride.

During the spring of 2023, I studied in Maastricht, the Netherlands. I chose the Netherlands to push me out of my comfort zone. One of my main goals I wanted to achieve through studying abroad was to push myself to do things I’d normally be too scared to do. Maastricht was the perfect place to do this because I didn’t know the language, it was in a great travel-location, it was far from any relatives, and it was a totally unfamiliar culture.

Part of this unfamiliar culture was a festival called Carnaval. It happens just before lent each year and is one of Maastricht’s most celebrated holidays. It is a multi-day celebration, lasting from the weekend until Tuesday, and emphasizes a break of social norms. Virtually everyone boards up their windows, including schools, clothing stores, and restaurants in preparation for the festivities. The entire city of usually reserved and pridefully normal Dutch citizens dress up in outlandish costumes and take to the streets. The celebrations usually start in the mid-morning and last until the early hours of the next day. The streets are full of costumes, dancing, and drinking: there are parades, ceremonies, and general drunken foolishness. This festival is where I had one of the biggest successes of my entire trip.

It was the first full day of Carnaval, even though we had been celebrating since Thursday night. We could feel the energy building with each preparation made: stores boarding up, alcohol being bought in unimaginable quantities, last minute costume preparations, and it all came to a head that morning. I had woken up late with a massive hangover from the previous night’s festivities, which involved an underground bunker converted into a bar in an apartment building. When I gathered the energy to head to the communal kitchen, people were already heading to get into their costumes and enjoy what the city had to offer. Since my outfit consisted of a lot of layers and took me a while to get in, I offered to meet my group of friends in the square.

No matter how much fun you’re having, when you’re drinking screwdrivers and putting on a costume at nine in the morning, you can’t help worrying you like a fool. Especially when the costume is entirely neon, and you have no idea what to expect on the streets. I hurried on my costume and rushed for the door, trying to catch up with my friends before it got too crazy. The square was a 15-minute walk away and the whole time I felt like a kid on Halloween, not in the excited sense, but in the sense that everyone was judging my costume and looking at me with disgust. The counterbalance to my anxiety was that I would see my group of friends soon and spend the day partying with them.

The one thing I didn’t plan on was there being two squares and a massive crowd already. In our tipsy state at breakfast, we forgot to specify which square to start at, and I--of course--walked to the wrong one. I didn’t know this at first, but after three laps of the crowd, and 30 minutes of panicking, I came to the realization that I wasn’t going to be able to find them.

I could feel my heart pumping in my chest over the loud Dutch music they were blasting; my palms were sweating, and all the sudden it felt like everyone was staring at me. In my desperation to look normal and act like I belonged, I winded up at a beer stand ordering a beer.

I remember holding onto this beer like a life preserver that would tug me out of the sea and towards the safety of my friends. Unfortunately, it didn’t lead me to them but rather to a side street with a group of people in their 50’s dancing in front of it. I figured if I wasn’t going to be able to enjoy the party I might as well explore the city on my defeated walk to the dorms. I came across another beer stand and decided to try my hand at ordering in Dutch, it obviously didn’t go as planned because I ended up with two beers and nowhere to go.

So, there I was, standing on a little side street, dressed as a human version of a highlighter, double fisting at 10 in the morning. In that moment I felt like the human equivalent of rock bottom, panicked and confused trying my best to blend in with the stone building behind me while a parade of people who seemed to be having a blast streamed by.

Then I saw it. Out the corner of my eye, I saw two older ladies come into my vision. They must have been in their mid to late 60’s and they were wearing matching outfits completed with neon pink wigs. I remember thinking how sweet it was that they were out there having a good time. Behind them, they dragged two clothing irons. They were holding the plug of the irons and pulling it behind them like they were taking a dog on a walk. In that moment I broke, I started laughing hysterically, I wanted to be those two old ladies dressed like colorblind toddlers dragging an iron like it was the most normal thing in the world. I remember looking to my immediate right to see in anyone else was seeing what I was seeing, only to catch the eye of an even older lady who had puzzles and was going around trying to get people to solve them, like a troll with a riddle to cross the bridge. If I hadn’t literally pinched myself, I would’ve thought I was dreaming or going crazy. I took one last look at the women pulling the irons and then at myself in the window across the street.

I am not sure if it was the alcohol, or the sheer bizarreness of it all, but something just clicked in my brain. My anxiety that I’d felt all morning transferred into an equally powerful determination: a determination to have the best day ever; a determination to pull the iron.

I found myself dancing in the crowd of strangers whose faces I’d never seen to music I didn’t recognize. I stumbled into a massive parade concession surrounded by eager crowds, stumbled into thousand-year-old ruins I had no idea the importance of, stumbled into acquaintances, and most importantly, stumbled into a new version of myself that day.

At the time I saw it as me successfully being independent, and recognizing the fact that I would never run into these people again. A day of embarrassment that nobody could blackmail me over. That day I ran into some friends, and decided to leave on my own again, even though it was all I could’ve dreamed of earlier that morning. At the time, I thought I was protecting myself from embarrassment in front of them, but now I see it for what it truly was.

I went off on my own because I was enjoying my own company, I didn’t feel embarrassed instead I felt alive. I didn’t want to drag the iron because the women looked ridiculous, I wanted to drag the iron because they had a genuine happiness and love of the moment. They did not need anyone else to have a good time, that street could have been empty, and they would’ve been the same. I unlocked some of that spirit that day. I went were I felt like and did things I thought I would never do, and I liked the version of me I saw.

Looking back on that day I feel a sense of success, a sense of pride. The pride is twofold: It was a catalyst for much of my self-discovery while abroad; after that day I wasn’t so afraid to go out alone or enjoy my own company. I wasn’t panicked about whether people were looking, or whether they thought I was going crazy, but rather I deemed it a good time based on how I felt inside. There was a sense of accomplishment, I had done it once and I could do it again, and that thought was empowering. But I’m also proud of what I can be. There’s pride in what’s done but there’s also pride in what can be done, and in realizing what you can accomplish. Out of all the things in my life that I would be proud of, becoming those ladies pulling the iron would be the proudest one.

Crowd gathered to watch the parade

Madison Montgomery is a junior data science major from Lexington, South Carolina. She studied abroad in Maastricht, the Netherlands in the Spring of 2023. She plans to graduate with an undergraduate degree in 2026 before returning to Europe to pursue a master’s degree.