Luke Hopkins: The Internal Monologue

Growing up, I always knew that I wanted to be a lawyer. Perhaps it is my sometimes-stubborn nature, but any time someone would vocalize reservations about my career path, it just made me want to continue to pursue it. No matter how often someone would tell me that the legal environment was too cutthroat for me or that I was not “rough enough” to be a lawyer, it just motivated me more. There does, however, come a time when it gets more difficult to tune out the noise. For nearly two decades, I let those who doubted me motivate me, but eventually I started to wonder if they were right. For the first time, I had doubts about the one thing I was the most confident in: my future.

Was being a lawyer really my dream? Was I not cut out for this job because of who I am as a person?

During my sophomore year, amidst the angst and uncertainty of COVID-19, I believe some of that uncertainty must have rubbed off on me. I can vividly remember sitting in my bed one day and mapping out an entirely new career plan for myself after finally listening to what people around me were saying.

I can’t believe I was ever foolish enough to think that being a lawyer was a smart decision.

Within a couple hours, I had devised an entirely new class schedule, told my parents that I was thinking about switching my career plan, and reassured myself that it was the correct decision. You know what they say: all of the best major life decisions are made on a whim, right? Well, little did I know that on the very same day that I fell victim to the comments of others, I would soon learn how to effectively believe in my own judgement.

Later that day, I met my parents for dinner in Abbeville, which would soon be where I completed my legal internship. On the way to dinner, I was thinking about how, because of COVID-19 and the restriction that it put on travel, rather than studying abroad for a semester, I could complete a high-level internship in order to get some career clarification, while also immersing myself in a new, enriching environment. By this point in the day, I’d already abandoned the idea of being a lawyer altogether. Thankfully, the scornful words of a well-known community member would set me right back on the track I needed to be on.

Over dinner, a particularly boisterous, renowned member of the community came up and spoke to me and my family. After some casual small talk, he asked me what career I was planning on pursuing. My parents turned their heads, wide-eyed to see what I was going to say. Instinctively, I told him that I wanted to be a lawyer. I’ll never forget the feeling that erupted inside of me when he responded by saying that, “Being a lawyer is stupid,” and reminded me that I would be in hundreds of thousands of dollars’ worth of debt, only to make very little money for the majority of my career.

Well, now I have to be a lawyer.

I simply nodded my head, flashed him a smile, and wished his own two children luck in college. We concluded dinner, and on my way back to Lander, I passed Paul Agnew’s independent law firm, an office in Abbeville that primarily handles probate and real estate law, and decided that was where I would complete my internship. That next day, after an email and a phone call, I was set to begin my internship the very next week.

As cliché as it may be, I knew after my first day as a legal intern that I was meant to be a lawyer. My supervisor told me that he was going to treat me like I was a law school student and expected that I work like one. Even though it was just my first day, I was already learning how to write deeds, will and testaments, and affidavits. I was able to sit in on client meetings, real estate transactions, and eventually court proceedings. I learned more about what it means to actually be a lawyer within the first couple hours of my internship than I’d learned in my entire life. As informative as that first day was, I only continued to learn more and grow as a prospective lawyer as the time went on.

Maybe I was right all along.

The longer I spent at my internship, the more comfortable I got with the routine work that we did at the firm. Soon enough, I was answering phone calls and advising potential clients within the parameters of my internship, I was making independent trips to our administrative facility to retrieve documents, and I was serving as a witness on almost every transactional agreement or probate form. Although I knew very early into my internship that I’d gotten the clarification that I needed, a small part of me still wanted more. I knew I liked the work that we did at the firm, but I didn’t necessarily know if it was the type of law that I wanted to practice. Soon enough, those thoughts were diminished. I was eventually able to sit in on a municipal trial, I got the chance to spend the day with the solicitor’s office, and because of the connections within the firm, I was exposed to such a variety of the different types of law to practice.

I can confidently say that this is exactly what I want to do.

When I reflect back on my time as a legal intern, I think not only of all the fact-based knowledge that I learned, but also of the assuredness that I found within myself. In all honesty, a part of me sought out my internship out of spite. I wanted to prove to the person who essentially told me I was stupid for wanting to be a lawyer that I could do it. It is that same motivating factor that encouraged me to keep a heavy focus on school, which has led me to being admitted to law school. While it may be easy to hold onto those negative reservations that I have about that person, I’ve come to be thankful for that interaction. I’m thankful it pushed me to seek out an internship. Whether or not it was out of spite, I gained more clarification from my time at the firm than I ever could have imagined. I’m thankful for the exercise in patience that the interaction gave me. I’m thankful for the support of my family and friends who would all be happy with whatever career I picked, regardless of what others thought. My time at Lander has been more than I could have ever asked for, but …

I am excited for my future.

***

Luke Hopkins is a senior psychology major from Donalds, South Carolina. His breakaway experience was a legal internship at the law office of Paul Agnew. Luke will graduate from Lander University in May 2023 and will be attending law school after.