Kyra Smith: The Crappy Feeling of Failure
“How in the world did I find myself here?”
This was the first thought in my mind when I started the first day of my internship at a Wastewater Treatment Plant. I have always been passionate about all things science related but this internship came as quite a surprise to me.
Just before the spring semester of my junior year I was determined to find an internship that would help me gain experience in a professional laboratory setting before I graduated. A friend told me about a laboratory internship that not too many people knew about as it was not heavily advertised to college students like other internships. I was immediately intrigued and asked for more information.
“A lab internship is exactly what I am looking for, who offers it?
“Well, it isn’t where you might think, it is actually an intern position for the laboratory of one of the two wastewater treatment plants here in Greenwood and it is offered by Greenwood Metropolitan District.”
“A wastewater treatment plant? Really?” I thought to myself. “Well, I could at least get in contact with them and ask about it.” And that’s exactly what I did.
After applying, I had an interview scheduled out at Wilson Creek Wastewater Treatment Plant and by the end of it I found myself feeling very excited about this internship opportunity.
A few weeks passed before I was officially an intern with GMD. I had gone through all of the necessary administrative aspects of being a new hire, even though it was only for a part-time intern position. During the waiting period I found myself reveling in the excitement and wonders of getting to work in a professional laboratory. However, the details regarding where I was actually going to be interning started to become an afterthought. It was not until I was driving through the gates of the plant on my first day that the reality of working at a Wastewater Treatment Plant set in. I remember pausing in the parking lot and thinking to myself “How in the world did I end up here?”
Nevertheless, I was excited for the opportunity to work in a professional laboratory setting, even if it happened to be at a place that most people would instinctively think was dirty and gross given the nature of the business.
During my first week I found myself trying to keep up with a lot of general information about the wastewater treatment process as well as how the lab ran on a daily basis, and at times this all felt quite overwhelming. I learned quickly how important the lab work was and how there seemed to be little to no room for errors. I was also met with an abundance of procedures for tests and laboratory instruments that I had either never heard of or had no experience of physically working with. All of this together left me questioning whether or not I was actually qualified to even be an intern in the lab after all. The laboratory director is also a graduate of Lander; however, she was a chemistry major, and the laboratory tests are primarily chemistry based. I felt like an imposter standing in the lab for the first month as I was a biology major and did not have the answers to some of the routine questions that my supervisor was asking me. I felt like I had oversold my abilities during my interview process and feared that I would not be a good fit for the internship after all. Eventually I reasoned with myself that if my supervisor and the other directors that I interviewed with felt that I was a strong enough candidate to be an intern then that meant something. I chalked all of my worries up to being in a new lab outside of Lander for the first time and focused on finding similarities in the fact that I was still in a learning environment and still had multiple resources available to me to ensure my success, just like at Lander.
With this newfound confidence I began taking in as much information as possible and started becoming more comfortable with everything as the time passed. My supervisor recognized this as she began letting me practice different aspects of tests and eventually began letting me conduct different tests on my own. One of the first tests that I got to attempt was E. coli preparation. This test was relatively simple, and I had walked through the process several times. All I needed to do was pour off the excess amount of sample in the container so that it was level with the 100ml mark on the bottle. Then pour in a powder-like medium and let it dissolve before transferring the sample to a tray that would be sealed. After that, the tray would go into an incubator for eighteen hours before being examined the following morning. I felt confident that I would be able to successfully perform this test when given the opportunity.
When my opportunity finally arose, it could not have gone more poorly. I forgot to pour off the excess sample in the container before adding the media. Since there was too much liquid in the container when I added the media, I had completely invalidated the sample. I was very upset with myself on the inside as I felt like I had just failed my first opportunity to prove my worth as an intern in the lab. I felt my confidence come crashing back down and doubts flooded my mind about whether I should even be an intern here at all. Before I could fall too deep into my own sorrow, we quickly went out and collected another sample. After returning to the lab with the new sample I restarted the process and did everything correctly the second time. I felt only slightly better as it did not change the fact that I had already wasted one entire sample due to a completely avoidable mistake. My supervisor reassured me and seemed satisfied with my second attempt. I had realized my mistake and owned up to it before taking the necessary steps to make things right. I was reminded of an odd saying which was that sometimes you must “physically fail to physically succeed”.
This may sound confusing at first, but it makes sense when working in a laboratory. Basically, you can be made aware of every possible way that something could go wrong in a laboratory, and you can memorize everything that you are supposed to in order to perform something correctly. However, there is no greater teacher than your own physical failure. Once it happens you are faced with rectifying the issue and even once the issue is resolved, the memory of what happened is typically enough to ensure that it doesn’t happen again.
That is exactly what I did, and I feel like I have gained not only more knowledge from this internship but also more confidence in myself and my abilities. I realized that quite literally anyone can make mistakes and very rarely is there ever no possible way to fix the mistake. However, what matters more than the mistake itself is how one responds to it and moves forward from it.
Overall, I learned more from this internship than just what is applicable to an academic or professional setting, I also learned more about myself and the people I was lucky enough to get to work with and for that I will forever be grateful for my time as an intern at a Wastewater Treatment Plant.
Kyra Smith is from Summerville, South Carolina. She is graduating in May 2024 with a BS in Biology and a minor in Chemistry. She interned with Greenwood Metropolitan District in the laboratory of the Wilson Creek Wastewater Treatment Plant from February 2023 to April 2024.