Emily Nguyen: The Lesson of a Bad Grade

When I decided to study abroad in Spain, I expected it to be similar academically to what I experienced in the United States. In every school that I have ever attended, even now at Lander, it has always come easier for me than for most students. I have never really had to worry about my grades or to study because it feels almost natural to me. At times I would feel stressed with the number of assignments that I had to do in a week, but the material itself was no problem for me. When I was preparing to go to Spain, I did not give much thought to how the school, or the academic structure would be. I was too focused on what the climate would be like, how many outfits I would need, what my host mom would be like, and making sure I did not forget my passport. The school there was the last thing on my mind. However, soon after arriving in Madrid and starting my classes I would realize just how hard the semester would be.

On my first day of class, I couldn't understand anything. The teachers asked me questions and I would stare back at them with a blank expression on my face while my brain tried to piece together what little Spanish it knew. I felt so embarrassed about not being able to answer the simplest questions such as “Que hiciste ayer?” or “Como estas hoy?” I could not respond. I was so embarrassed that I just froze. I had never felt this way before. I was always the student who knew the answers and could respond quickly when called upon. But now here I was like a deer in headlights, unable to speak the most basic of Spanish. The teacher, seeing my look of confusion on my face, asked me the questions again in English and I responded in Spanglish. After I answered she moved on to the next student, but that feeling of failure lingered within me.

After a few days in the class I hoped that it would get better, but I was still as confused as I was on the first day of class. It was on this day that my teacher suggested that I try the level down to see if I fared better in there. I went to the lower-level class after the break and the teacher introduced herself to me. I nodded my head and introduced myself as well. She began the lesson and the confusion that I felt before disappeared and was instead replaced with boredom. The lesson was on the Spanish present tense, which I was very familiar with. The teacher would ask me questions and I would respond with ease. The teacher, seeing that the material was not challenging me, sent me back to my previous class. You would think that this would make me feel better about my ability to speak and understand Spanish, but it did not. It did the opposite because I felt like I would never understand upper-level Spanish.

After remaining in the class for several weeks, I had my first exam. I was a little bit nervous, but I felt confident because my Spanish had started to improve in my classes. The teacher gave me the exam and my brain completely blanked. I tried to read the questions, but I struggled to understand them. I slowly worked my way through the exam and turned it in. As soon as I left, I just knew that I did not do well on it. I walked home that day to try and ease my nerves. I told myself that I was overreacting and that I probably did fine. I did not even know my grade yet so there was no reason to panic yet. A few days later, I was given back my exam, and my heart dropped to the floor. I had made a 76. I had always been an A student but in that moment I was not. My teachers noticed I was upset and asked me about it, and I told them that this was a bad grade for me. The teacher chuckled a little bit at this which confused me. She responded that this was a good grade and that students in the United States are not used to harsh grading. This response made me a little bit mad because here I was so upset, and she just laughed at me and told me that it’s due to a cultural difference. Before I could respond, she said that she will allow me to an assignment to get extra points on my exam. Even though I was still upset, I accepted the offer and completed the assignment, and after which she upped my grade by 15 points.

This pattern of struggle continued as the semester progressed. Even after hours of studying and putting in so much effort, I still felt as though I was not doing well in my classes. I thought that after living and studying in Spain for a few weeks, that things would become easier for me, but they had not. I tried to push out the thoughts in my brain that I should give up on Spanish and that I would never be able to speak it. I began to feel so much stress, so I decided to go for a run in the Parque De Retiro. On my run in the park, I passed these two people who were trying to take a selfie in front of a large statue which would have been hard to capture in a selfie. I went up to the two people and asked them

“Quieres una foto? Puedo tomar la foto.” (Do you want a photo? I can take the photo.) They responded they would like me to take their photo, so I did. After taking the photo, I prepared to continue my run, but they asked me,

“Sabes donde esta el lago?” (Do you know where the lake is?)

I quickly responded “Si, el lago esta por ahí” (Yes, the lake is over there) and pointed in the direction that they needed to go.

They thanked me and went on their way. I continued my run and began to feel a sense of accomplishment. I just had an entire conversation with someone in Spanish who was not my host mom or my teachers. And what is more than that is that I understood what was being said and I was able to help them. I felt so proud of myself and that the hard work that I was putting into learning Spanish was finally showing results.

After this experience, I realized that it is okay to not always get an A in every class. Making a perfect grade is not as important as the learning and practicing that it takes to get there. I may not have gotten the grade that I wanted on my first exam, but it taught me an important lesson which is that failing and struggling are a part of learning, and that without it, I would have never put in the effort that helped me to become better.  

Emily Nguyen is from Greenwood, SC. She is a double major in criminology and Spanish. She completed her study abroad on Madrid, Spain where she studied Spanish. She is a senior at Lander University and will graduate in spring 2025.