Brianna Ferrullo-Szakacs: Patience is Truly a Virtue

I thought about muting the group chat. I could not read another message asking how to do this or where to find that. My phone seemed to never quit dinging as I sat completing my own work with multiple PowerPoints open and tip sheets at hand to walk me through my tasks. It seemed to me that we had the world at our fingertips. While I will admit that it was easy to find yourself hitting an obstacle, the amount of questions felt like they were getting a bit heinous considering the resources we had. I did not speak during our Zoom meetings, it never felt necessary, nor did I have the chance between the questions. Rather, I felt my already fleeting patience growing all the thinner. Times like these reminded me why I had such a strong dislike for groupwork. With the resources at hand, I felt that I was doing just fine. It puzzled me how others with tasks that I felt were easier than mine were struggling so hard.

My tempers were pushed even further when, towards the end of my internship I was introduced to a girl who would take my place. She was a very nice girl, but she came with lots of questions. My annoyances were never with her, I just simply never had much patience for people that I felt were not working at my pace. In hindsight, I must give her some slack. Among all the tasks of our small newsletter team (including emailing chapters, making certificates for chartering chapters, and my job: the newsletter) ours was, I would say, the most challenging. It is not that the job itself was hard, but getting information felt like pulling teeth. This issue also tampered with my patience. While I tried to progress and get done what was expected from me, it felt like I kept hitting a wall, that wall being people who could never seem to find me answers.

However, aside from that, the task of teaching this easy yet annoying job proved to be quite the nuisance to me. Throughout the three months that I was doing the newsletter I never saw it hard. I was thrown in with much less training than she was receiving, and I quickly found my way. Instead, she struggled to find her way and shortly after our introduction, I began receiving numerous messages from her, littering themselves between the questions from the group chat.

This began to get under my skin but also led me to a new realization. I needed to have patience for her. This internship was entirely remote, so it was much different than hands on training. In retrospect, I can see how that can make things even more difficult. Also, not everyone is tech savvy, making it hard to get a grasp on new programs. I made this realization shortly before exiting my internship. While it was rewarding to have made this realization, it also made me feel bad. I feel like this newfound sense of patience would have been more helpful for many previous years of school and work.

I have always lacked patience, and I know I have. However, I never found it necessary to fix it. I avoided groupwork at all costs as I was almost never satisfied with the ability of those around me. If I understood something, I unrealistically expected everyone else to as well. This isn’t the way of the world and I have deep down always known that. I just remained in oblivious bliss and let my lack of patience get the best of me. I realize now how pretentious that makes me sound and how much of a skewed view on the world I had. Aside from that, I am not going to get where I want in life without at least an ounce of patience which I honestly cannot say I had prior. Therefore, although I was often times more irritated than pleased by my internship, I am grateful for, what is to me, the profound lesson it taught me.

I did not only take this lesson at face value. I am now able to see it as a more broad scope idea.  I must have patience for those around me, yes, but I can give a new meaning to problems that once boiled my blood. Anytime I see someone is falling behind, I can use it to engage a newfound passion of mine, the passion to teach. Even if it is not a profound lesson, the small stepping stone of navigating someone through a task or topic they deem challenging has its merits.

On another hand this internship has made me face another realization, one a bit harder to stomach than the first. I am not the same person I was even a mere four years ago. While I never struggled in school, college has changed that for me and while facing that is difficult it is important to do so. I have reached a point where I too am facing challenges and sometimes find myself lacking comparing to my peers. I can see the patience they have for me, as it is a simple curtesy to offer.

This newfound sense of patience is something that I can carry with me. I am about to enter a master’s program completely different from my undergraduate work that I have spent four years emersed in. Surely, there will be people more advanced than myself and I will be in the shoes of the people I was once annoyed by. Seeing as I am sometimes behind the curve it is impossible to hold a grudge against someone who may do the same.

All in all, I am grateful for this lesson. It was one I needed to learn, I just wish I had done so sooner. Nonetheless, it is one that will stick with me for the rest of my life. Since ending my internship I have not found myself feeling the same annoyance I did prior to it, even though I have experienced moments like I had before it, and I call that progress.

Brianna is a senior biology major with a photography minor who will graduate in May of 2023 and completed her internship remotely with the National STEM Honor Society. She is from Bluffton, SC, right outside the beaches of Hilton Head Island. Following graduation, she hopes to attend graduate school for a master’s in education. On top of her studies, she is a member of Gamma Phi Beta sorority and a member of the Order of Omega honor society.