Ashley Beatriz: I Go by Belle
“Hello, I go by Belle!”
“Welcome to my experience at the YMCA summer camp.”
From 7:00 am to 3:00 pm every day of the week, I went by my Belle, like the princess. But, even after hours, I was still referred to as Belle. Camp names were used by counselors to maintain their privacy. My team of counselors consisted of Erod, Elsa, Flip, Sunshine, and Moose. Being called Belle all summer by campers and other co-workers was strange. However, this camp culture was practical in that it helped maintain a professional distance between the campers and counselors.
Being called Belle felt odd due to never going by any other name but my own. Therefore, it was an adjustment I never thought I would have to get used to. However, I had experienced the same confusion when stepping into the classroom. I had to adjust in the same way when being called Ms. Beatriz as I walked into the classroom for the first time. Author Michael Gose points out, “Being called Mr., Ms., Miss, or Mrs. for the first time, we novices are often briefly confused when our name is called. We momentarily wonder, have our parents suddenly dropped into our school? Mr., Ms., or Mrs., used with our last names, are what our parents are called, not us.” This entire process has prepared me for stepping into the classroom and being called Ms. Beatriz which feels like I have gained some sort of importance.
At camp, being called counselor Belle meant that I was an institutional authority in charge of campers, their safety, and creating a positive environment. As a counselor, I explained the rules of games and gave the campers directions on what to do, and then I would step aside and supervise. While they played, I stood on the sidelines, cheering for them while directing the game.
I would typically not participate in their games because I needed to observe instead of interacting with the students since I was the authority figure. However, I saw that wasn’t the case, and if anything, I built a better relationship with the campers just by participating.
When I participated in the games, it made the games more interesting for the campers, and they got excited. It also helped build a trusting relationship between me and them. Building a relationship gave the campers a sense of safety and made them feel like they could confide in me.
I know what it is like to be a child in a trusting relationship, and now I am an adult in a trusting relationship. As an authoritative figure at the YMCA, I offered advice, comfort, and safety which all stemmed from the small act of getting involved with the students. I connected with the campers, which allowed them to open up to me.
There was one student in particular who opened up to me. Isaac spoke to me about his grandma who recently passed away. As I was walking in one morning, hoping it would be a better day than before, I spotted Isaac in the gym and he was sitting in the corner with his hands over his head, looking down. I went up to him and sat next to him without saying a word. I sat there patting his back, waiting for him to feel comfortable enough to tell me what was wrong.
Isaac told me he had a dream about his Abuela (which means grandma in Spanish) who had passed away. He said that he missed her a lot as a tear rolled off his cheek. He told me that she had taken care of him since he was a baby. He said that she always cared for him and would speak to him in Spanish, and even though he couldn’t understand her, he knew what she meant.
Since Isaac was opening up, I felt comfortable asking him about his dream. He said he saw his Abuela, and she said to him, “Tu corazón es mi corazón, and I’ll always be in your heart.” He told me the first part in Spanish meant your heart is my heart. After Isaac told me, I began crying with him.
I told Isaac that I didn’t know what it felt like to lose a grandma or someone in general who played such a massive role in my life, but I could imagine. I put myself in his shoes the whole time he told me the story because he talked about his grandma and their relationship, which reminded me of the one I had with my grandma. She has always taken care of me like I was her daughter. We have such a close relationship, and I could not imagine losing her, and even thinking for a split second that she will be gone one day brings me to tears. It makes me understand and empathize with how Isaac must have felt.
At this moment, I felt like I had done something right and made a difference in someone’s life. Isaac, a seven-year-old, trusted me with his story, and I just listened. It was at this moment I experienced the feeling of authority that I always longed for. Instead of being the kind of authority that children feared, it was the type of authority that makes a difference in a child’s life. At that moment, I truly felt the meaning of the title counselor Belle, similar to the title Ms., and it brought entirely different feelings and emotions of being called counselor Belle.
Nowadays rarely anyone talks about the feeling of being called a Ms. or Mr. for the first time. Being called Ms. Beatriz allowed me to feel more comfortable being called Belle. As Belle, I was able to connect to the campers on a personal level in a different environment. Now I have the ability to help children both in and out of the classroom. Hearing students and colleagues refer to me by my last name remains foreign, but I am aware of the importance of institutional authority when supporting children.
Ashley Beatriz is an Elementary Education major. During summer of 2021, she did her internship at the YMCA summer camp in Walhalla, South Carolina. Ashley looks forward to graduating in May of 2022 and will go on to be a teacher in South Carolina.