Hannah Girardeau
“I am not the same having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world.” There are times that I don’t quite find the right words to say to describe what I feel, but here Mary Anne Radmacher was able to put what I feel into words.
The summer before my senior year as a Biology Major at Lander University, I decided to study abroad for a month at the University of Stirling in Scotland. I’ve always heard people say that going abroad for any period of time would change you, but I never thought that my thoughts and feelings on everything would change as much as they did. Every aspect of my trip had some influence on my being, whether it was my views on food, on school, on nature, on people, on public transport, really anything that I came into contact with. Although all of these changes are important, the biggest change I made was in how I interacted with others.
When I left Atlanta at 8 in the morning, I was a timid girl who always put others needs before her own and allowed herself to be walked over. I did not voice my opinions, I stayed quiet when people were telling me things they didn’t like about me or about what I did, I didn’t defend myself, I didn’t speak up when I thought something was wrong; overall, I avoided confrontation at all costs. When I left, I expected to come back still doing all of these things. I thought I would change in the aspect of having more to talk about and having more cultural awareness, I did not think that large chunks of my personality would change. Everyone has a turning point, a point where they just put up with so much, that they eventually snap, and although I did not snap at people, I snapped in that I decided I was done being that girl I left as, and I wanted to be the woman that I had always wanted to be.
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My family history is incredibly important to me, I want to know everything about everyone in my family, past and present. What does this have to do with Scotland and my personality changing? My great-great grandfather, John Reid Anderson, sailed out of Aberdeen, Scotland and it was my one big wish to travel to Aberdeen and talk to the people at the family history organization they have there to see if I could find any information about him. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity to research John Anderson, a man I knew practically nothing about, in the town where he possibly lived.
Upon arriving in Scotland, I met a group of girls that became my friends for the entirety of the trip, and on the first day I told them of my plans of going to Aberdeen and researching my family, inviting them along as long as they understood that I would be going to this organization no matter what. About three weeks in myself and another girl had planned a trip to there when she cancelled on me, then a few hours later in the group text, I was invited on a trip to Aberdeen by the same girls. I ask if I could still go to the organization, and they agreed.
We get there in the early morning, finding breakfast then we went to the shopping district, and wandered around trying to figure out what to do, I bring up wanting to go look at my family history again, but I’m brushed off, so I drop the subject. They decide they want to see a castle, so we begin looking for things. I find one that was within Aberdeen city limits, where we would still have time for other activities, but they didn’t like that one, so we went to one in a neighboring town, Stonehaven. Beautiful little coastal town, but very easy to get lost in while on the buses. After being lost briefly, we finally ate and got directions to the castle from the waiter. The entire day we were carrying our luggage with us because the other girls did not think it was safe to leave our clothing at the hostel we were staying at, even as I tried to assure them that it was as I had stayed in a hostel before. We walked a mile and a half along a road before we got to the pathway to the castle, which then took us another two miles. Under normal circumstances, this would be fine, but carrying everything on my back made it difficult to completely enjoy the beautiful scenery that was surrounding me along the hike.
The castle sat on the edge of the cliff, making a very typical Scottish castle scene, and the pathway followed the cliff around the inlet, which led us to Dunnotter Castle. On one side of you, there were fields for miles, it was all you could see, on the other was the ocean, and very faintly, at the beginning of the trail, you could see the edge of Stonehaven. It was everything I ever pictured when I thought of old Scottish castles, even down to the traditional Scottish thistle everywhere and a man playing bagpipes at the entrance.
Although the trip to the castle was beautiful, I never got to go do research on my family history, having only brought it up once more, only to be brushed off again. In addition to being brushed off with that, they didn’t listen to me with anything along that trip. When I got back to Stirling, I had so many regrets because I didn’t stand up for what I wanted, because I didn’t make my thoughts and opinions heard more, it kept me up all night and many more nights after that. It caused me to evaluate my life a little bit more, and I realized that I was tired of being the pushover, I was tired of not being heard, I was tired of my opinions not mattering, I was just tired of being miserable all the time because I did what everyone else wanted me to do and I acted like everyone else wanted me to act. I wanted to be my own person, with my own thoughts and ideas and feelings. That was the moment where I snapped.
I came back and I found that implementing these changes in my person was easy when it came to people I barely knew or didn’t know at all. I was this woman I wanted to be in the workplace, and around my boyfriend and his family and friends. But I also found that it was nearly impossible to be different than the girl I was always expected to be when in classes and when I was around my family and friends. However, I have now been back for 8 months at this point and I am making progress towards truly becoming this woman I have always been on the inside and have always wanted to be on the outside. I wouldn’t be where I was today if I hadn’t had this happen.
“Travel is not really about leaving our homes, but leaving our habits.” -Pico Iyer
Hannah Girardeau is a Senior Biology major at Lander University originally from Greenville, South Carolina. She studied abroad at the University of Stirling in Stirling, Scotland the Summer of 2017. She plans to graduate December of 2018 and after taking some time off, going to graduate school for her Doctorate in Physical Therapy.
The summer before my senior year as a Biology Major at Lander University, I decided to study abroad for a month at the University of Stirling in Scotland. I’ve always heard people say that going abroad for any period of time would change you, but I never thought that my thoughts and feelings on everything would change as much as they did. Every aspect of my trip had some influence on my being, whether it was my views on food, on school, on nature, on people, on public transport, really anything that I came into contact with. Although all of these changes are important, the biggest change I made was in how I interacted with others.
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| University of Stirling, Scotlnad |
When I left Atlanta at 8 in the morning, I was a timid girl who always put others needs before her own and allowed herself to be walked over. I did not voice my opinions, I stayed quiet when people were telling me things they didn’t like about me or about what I did, I didn’t defend myself, I didn’t speak up when I thought something was wrong; overall, I avoided confrontation at all costs. When I left, I expected to come back still doing all of these things. I thought I would change in the aspect of having more to talk about and having more cultural awareness, I did not think that large chunks of my personality would change. Everyone has a turning point, a point where they just put up with so much, that they eventually snap, and although I did not snap at people, I snapped in that I decided I was done being that girl I left as, and I wanted to be the woman that I had always wanted to be.
********
My family history is incredibly important to me, I want to know everything about everyone in my family, past and present. What does this have to do with Scotland and my personality changing? My great-great grandfather, John Reid Anderson, sailed out of Aberdeen, Scotland and it was my one big wish to travel to Aberdeen and talk to the people at the family history organization they have there to see if I could find any information about him. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity to research John Anderson, a man I knew practically nothing about, in the town where he possibly lived.
Upon arriving in Scotland, I met a group of girls that became my friends for the entirety of the trip, and on the first day I told them of my plans of going to Aberdeen and researching my family, inviting them along as long as they understood that I would be going to this organization no matter what. About three weeks in myself and another girl had planned a trip to there when she cancelled on me, then a few hours later in the group text, I was invited on a trip to Aberdeen by the same girls. I ask if I could still go to the organization, and they agreed.
We get there in the early morning, finding breakfast then we went to the shopping district, and wandered around trying to figure out what to do, I bring up wanting to go look at my family history again, but I’m brushed off, so I drop the subject. They decide they want to see a castle, so we begin looking for things. I find one that was within Aberdeen city limits, where we would still have time for other activities, but they didn’t like that one, so we went to one in a neighboring town, Stonehaven. Beautiful little coastal town, but very easy to get lost in while on the buses. After being lost briefly, we finally ate and got directions to the castle from the waiter. The entire day we were carrying our luggage with us because the other girls did not think it was safe to leave our clothing at the hostel we were staying at, even as I tried to assure them that it was as I had stayed in a hostel before. We walked a mile and a half along a road before we got to the pathway to the castle, which then took us another two miles. Under normal circumstances, this would be fine, but carrying everything on my back made it difficult to completely enjoy the beautiful scenery that was surrounding me along the hike.
 |
| Dunnotter Castle Aberdeen, Scotland |
The castle sat on the edge of the cliff, making a very typical Scottish castle scene, and the pathway followed the cliff around the inlet, which led us to Dunnotter Castle. On one side of you, there were fields for miles, it was all you could see, on the other was the ocean, and very faintly, at the beginning of the trail, you could see the edge of Stonehaven. It was everything I ever pictured when I thought of old Scottish castles, even down to the traditional Scottish thistle everywhere and a man playing bagpipes at the entrance.
Although the trip to the castle was beautiful, I never got to go do research on my family history, having only brought it up once more, only to be brushed off again. In addition to being brushed off with that, they didn’t listen to me with anything along that trip. When I got back to Stirling, I had so many regrets because I didn’t stand up for what I wanted, because I didn’t make my thoughts and opinions heard more, it kept me up all night and many more nights after that. It caused me to evaluate my life a little bit more, and I realized that I was tired of being the pushover, I was tired of not being heard, I was tired of my opinions not mattering, I was just tired of being miserable all the time because I did what everyone else wanted me to do and I acted like everyone else wanted me to act. I wanted to be my own person, with my own thoughts and ideas and feelings. That was the moment where I snapped.
I came back and I found that implementing these changes in my person was easy when it came to people I barely knew or didn’t know at all. I was this woman I wanted to be in the workplace, and around my boyfriend and his family and friends. But I also found that it was nearly impossible to be different than the girl I was always expected to be when in classes and when I was around my family and friends. However, I have now been back for 8 months at this point and I am making progress towards truly becoming this woman I have always been on the inside and have always wanted to be on the outside. I wouldn’t be where I was today if I hadn’t had this happen.
“Travel is not really about leaving our homes, but leaving our habits.” -Pico Iyer
Hannah Girardeau is a Senior Biology major at Lander University originally from Greenville, South Carolina. She studied abroad at the University of Stirling in Stirling, Scotland the Summer of 2017. She plans to graduate December of 2018 and after taking some time off, going to graduate school for her Doctorate in Physical Therapy.