Katie Warnken: That One String on my Favorite Sweater

I keep picking at this grey knit sweater that I have. It has a string on the right sleeve that always unravels and sticks out from the sweater. I try to twist it, so that it might stay down. But, it always finds a way to come undone. This annoying string won’t leave me alone. Its presence begs for attention. It wants everyone to ask about how it came to be.

I bought the knit sweater in Ireland, and I bought it without that string hanging off of it. I had arrived in the country without a coat or jacket. But, the weather forecast for Maynooth told me that I would be facing some pretty cold weather during that fall semester. That sweater got me through the cold days, and it even was with me in the warmer weather. I wore it everywhere. I wore it the first day of classes. I wore it to every country I visited. I wore it almost every time I went out with friends. I even slept in it on the nights that got super cold (or at least until I learned how to work the heater in my room). As you can imagine, it has quite a bit of wear and tear, but that string still stands out the most to me.

You see, the string has its own history. I was walking to class one morning, minding my own business. And, when I mind my own business, I tend to have a slight bounce in my step and a bit of a swing in my arms. I guess my arms were swinging a bit too hard that day because as I walked through the crowded hallways my sleeve got caught on a guy’s backpack zipper.

I didn’t recognize this person, so I decided to avoid as much interaction as possible. Without saying a word, I tried to unhook my sweater as fast as possible. Fortunately, this guy was just standing still. Unfortunately, he was surrounded by a group of friends who started staring at me. To make matters worse, my right sleeve was caught, and I’m right handed. I was trying to unhook my sweater with my left hand. I tried to make up for the lack of my left hand by pulling, and that’s when the string on my sweater started forming.

Obviously, backpack boy felt the pull on his back, and he noticed me. I apologized and explained the situation to him. He was nice and tried to laugh it off, but I could tell he was getting a little annoyed when I still wasn’t off his back after a minute. One of his friends even offered to help, but I knew that I could get out of this mess. I grappled with the zipper and the string. No luck. I was forced to accept her help. She immediately pulled the string off the backpack. No struggle whatsoever. I felt really stupid in that moment. I thanked her for her help and apologized again. As I walked away from that mess, I noticed the string, just hanging there. It was almost laughing at me and my stupidity, so I decided to twist it into a tight little knot on my sleeve. Twisting it helped me forget about my embarrassment as I continued down the hallway to my class.

I did make it to class on time, and I never saw backpack boy or his friends again. I survived. In fact, for the rest of my time in Ireland, I didn’t even get stuck on another backpack. The only reminder of that sticky situation is that string on my favorite sweater. I always try to twist it so that it lays closer to the sleeve instead of sticking out at people, trying to hook onto their backpacks. It never works. The string just won’t go away. I thought about cutting it, but two things stop me everytime. The first is that I don’t want my entire sweater to unravel if I just cut one tiny piece of string off. The second is that I realize the string does carry the memory. If I still have the sweater in twenty years, I will still remember that embarrassing time I got stuck on some guy’s backpack when I was in Ireland. I will be able to picture the hallways, and the look on his face and his friends’ faces. I will even remember the burning in my own face as it turned a darker and darker shade of red.

This moment was a learning opportunity. It taught me not only of the importance of self awareness and body control, but also that it is okay to mess up. I could be embarrassed or stuck in an awkward situation, but I can survive. I can make it out, even if I need to ask for someone else’s help. I can’t say that was the only time in Ireland when I felt like a complete idiot. But, because that was my first awkward situation in Ireland, I felt better equipped to handle other situations. Like the time in history class when I tried to move into a group, but I didn’t move my chair with me, so I ended up sitting on the ground, holding my desk up in the air. Or the other time, when I locked myself out of my bedroom in my pajamas and no shoes. I had to walk in the rain with my fuzzy socks on to the reception building to get a new key; I got a few funny looks. Even still, I made it through. I would even I say that I made it through these situations more responsible. Each time I made a mistake, I could learn from it and improve.

So, as I sit here and look at that string, I remember Ireland, not just the embarrassing moments I encountered there, but also the good ones. I know that I am a more mature person because of the experiences that I had. That physical reminder of the humiliating memory will stay with me even as my own memories fade. In fact, it already outlasted the pictures that I took. I actually dropped my phone in some water when I got back from abroad, and I wasn’t able to save all the pictures. But that string won’t ever be completely lost. I will always have it to look back at my mistakes and remember that I made it through.

Katie Warnken is a Math Education major at Lander University. She studied abroad at Maynooth University in Ireland during the fall semester of her sophomore year. She plans to graduate from Lander in May 2019, and after graduation, she hopes to start teaching at a middle school in South Carolina.