Hayley Gibson: Realization of Self
I stepped onto the platform and looked around at the grand Union station. Tired after a long day of commuting to Maryland for my internship, I was glad to be back at a station within D.C. Stepping deeper into the crowd, following the heard of metropolitans into the dark night I pulled out my phone searching for my newest life line, GPS. The GPS began searching, and panic surged through my entire body. Sweat covered my body, and tears clouded my sight. I had gotten off at the wrong stop. My safe haven for the next four months was three miles away, a 45-minute walk.
Looking around in the night of the busy station wondering what I should do, I began asking myself what I was doing here. That one question that had been haunting me since I left for Washington, D.C. on New Year’s Eve. That question found me that morning on the thirty-minute commute to my internship, and was followed by the question of how could I do this to myself. I am a girl born and raised in South Carolina. I enjoy tradition, and despise change. I like silence, and the comfort of a familiar face. And yet I let my ambitions take me to a metropolitan city. A city that has almost 700,000 people living in it. A city that could be called the opposite of my home. This city had a way of making an outsider feel inadequate.
After a stepping away from the subway station I took a second and took in my surroundings. I was so lost I had no idea which way to begin walking. Pedestrians walking by never even glanced my way. No one made eye contact, or gave a supportive smile. They were all on their way somewhere. And I had to figure a way to find my way back to my apartment. After consideration, I called my mom. Asking for her advice on what to do next. She calmed my nervous and encouraged me that everything would be alright. Soon after our talk I found myself stepping on the side of the curve and hailing a cab. Through teary eyes and a shaky voice, I called out my address and laid my head back. Thanking God for a one way, no stops transportation.
Over the next few weeks of my break away, the transportation got better. However, throughout the weeks there were some hiccups. With every hiccup came that little annoying question that haunted me in the subway, did I belong here? However, with the hiccups came answers. Consistently I found little signs, or affirmations that I was meant to make this break away happen.
The first sign came with my first night confidently traveling through the city alone. My roommates were out on the town, and with my lack of ability to legally consume alcohol I found myself spending a lot of nights alone. On this particular night, I decided that I would not spend the night in the house by myself. Instead I would walk the four blocks it took to get to a popular restaurant. I got ready and walked to the restaurant. Once there I ate alone, and then took a stroll through the neighborhood of Eastern Market.
To many people this little adventure may not seem like much. And yet to me it was everything. This night was the night that made that question of rather or not I belong disappear. It was this night that brought me to the realization that it is not rather a place makes you feel as though you belong, but that you make yourself belong in that place. D.C. helped give me the ability to find my place of belonging in any and every atmosphere. I learned how to be alone, work with different ideologies, work with individuals with different perspectives of ideologies, and have faith in myself. I found a new mindset toward traveling, and trying new things. While on this trip I began noticing the many things I had missed out on by assuming I would not belong.
Without this realization I would have continued to miss out of countless opportunities. I would have missed ballet shows because of lack of company, and I would have never tried certain foods. I can truly say that without this breakaway my outlook on life possibilities would still be limited. During this breakaway I flew on a plane for the second time in my life, and the first time alone.
I found out what I am capable of. Before taking this breakaway my focus was to meet the requirements to graduate, and move on to the next step of life. However, because of my new found independence and faith in myself I found myself applying for new internships in different offices back home. By applying to these internships I learned just what I was qualified to do, which led to me qualifying for an internship with my state’s senior senator.
This experienced opened my eyes to future career possibilities. By partaking in the internship, and living in the atmosphere of D.C. I was able to open myself to a plethora of possible career paths, that before I would have never thought was possible.
Hayley Gibson is a graduating Senior Political Science Student at Lander University. In the Spring of 2016 she traveled to Washington, D.C. to partake in an internship with the International Rescue Committee. After graduating this semester Hayley will take a year off, and then go on to advance her degree.