Ettele Toole: When the Unfamiliar Becomes Familiar, and a Face Becomes Home

The biggest fear for most students going abroad isn’t the place it self, it’s the unfamiliarity that will inevitably surround them and this natural fear of not wanting to “miss out” on something that happens back home. I can admit that I felt that, but I knew I owed it to myself to take this trip, not just for some break-away credit, but for me.

Now that I’m about to graduate and there’s this countdown to “the working world,” I find myself having the same fears. What if the only jobs I can find are far away? What if I hate my first job? What if I can’t find a job? What if I move to a new city, love it, and never come back?

I’m at the point in my life where it’s my choice whether or not to chase a dream or settle for comfort. The Camino was a dream of mine and I’ll never regret going or what it taught me, no matter how many times I thought I failed. Being there allowed to me open my mind beyond comfort and expectations; I had to learn how to accept things that I could not change and accept the challenge when the occasion arose for me to make a difference. So as I look into my future and have these outlandish and larger-than-life dreams, I now know that a littler perseverance, strength, and acceptance of help are the ways to achieve them.

All of the memories I have growing up of “amazing trips” I now realized were only “amazing” because of the people that I met or went with. The Camino was no different. My familia peregrina is what made my journey so memorable. I never knew that on the first day I would meet three people that would play such an important role in my Camino experience. The people I met helped me understand, that even on such a personal journey, it can’t be done alone, and more importantly, no one expects you to.

Rune, a man from Denmark, Margarit, a woman from Switzerland, and Ursula, a woman from Germany became my family. I learned that no matter where I am, my comfort zone is flexible, but only if I allow it to be. Never being in the same place for more than one day kept my comfort zone constantly changing. My comfort zone then became daily change and the daily pilgrim schedule, but it also became my new family’s faces. It didn’t matter where I was or how lost I felt, when I saw them on the trail or in the albergue at night, my mood was immediately softened and I was instantly comforted.

I learned the importance of listening on my journey, and not just to God, but to those with greater experience and those willing to help. If you’re willing to listen, you won’t have to learn everything “the hard way.” I shopping in a local market one day and Margarit approached me and started a conversation. She saw that I was a bit lost with what to buy and immediately started to tell me how to eat as a pilgrim; what to buy that’s light, easy, and cheap. She’ll never know how much that meant to me or how much that helped me, but it then dawned on me that I needed to pass that knowledge on. By taking her advice, I didn’t have to take an entire Camino just figuring out what works, she passed on her knowledge and because I listened, I didn’t have to struggle with that aspect.

Rune provided me with much needed tough love, but was tender hearted and provide comedic relief when I needed him to. He was empathetic to my struggle, but already knew the outcome, so he pushed my thoughts to be where they needed to be so that I could achieve the success that he knew was to come only if I didn’t give up.

The point came in our journey where we would not see each other again, possibly ever. Those were moments of true monument for me, but they came very differently. We first said good-bye to Rune when we traveled off into Portugal and gave only a “see you in Santiago” to Margarit and Ursula. Leaving Rune for good was saying good-bye to part of my journey and my experience. Rune was greatly missed after he left and moral was a struggle to keep with out his light-hearted and comedic presence. The fact that we were trekking through Portugal did not help.

Portugal became the biggest eye-opener of my short life. My group was alone, the language was completely foreign, and the route was unclear. It was the first time I felt like I was no longer walking my Camino. It was in Portugal that I realized how important it is to allow people to influence your journey positively, but never let them dictate it. It was also at this point that I realized that surrounding yourself with the correct people is important for success.

When we finally made it back to Spain, small relief came when I could communicate again and when I began to see other pilgrims. It wasn’t until Santiago and seeing Margarit and Urula’s faces, that I cried and realized I was home. I didn’t care that I was in Santiago, I cared that I was in Santiago with them. My journey would have felt incomplete and empty if I wouldn’t have gotten to say good-bye to Rune and celebrate victory in Santiago with Margarit and Ursula.

Over the five weeks I spent walking, the memories that stick out to me the most are ones that involved the people I met. In my current search for jobs and in the interview process, I am realizing how important it is to find the right “fit” and that they are not only interviewing me, but I them.

Ettele Toole is a senior political science major at Lander University. She is a member of the Honors College, Pi Sigma Alpha, Alpha Chi, and South Carolina Student Legislators, where she served as the Press Secretary from 2014-2015.

After walking the Camino de Santiago, she presented at the American Pilgrims on the Camino Association’s annual symposium in Williamsburg, VA at the prestigious College of William and Mary.

Ettele will graduate in April 2016 and hopes to work in media production and communications.