Austin Norryce: Camino de Santiago
My Camino did not have a magical reason like most people
have before venturing on to The Way. Originally, I wanted to experience an
adventure and that was the most I thought I would get from the Camino. However,
after prepping for my summer trip with research about The Way and conditioning
myself physically, I began to realize it would probably be more than an
adventure. One of the things I packed with me other than my essential gear was
a handkerchief given to me by my great grandmother before she passed away. This
piece of cloth was essential for my Camino experience.
On my 12th day of walking on the Via de la Plata,
the long walk in Spain turned in to so much more than adventure. My personal
revelation started with Ettele (one of the students that were in the group with
me) and I having a nice conversation walking to our alburgue. Before this point
on our Camino, we did not connect much personally. This day made us much
closer. Ettele and I started the days walk talking to each other about our trip
thus far. She gave me some insight on her personal life, and vice versa. We had
been talking for a good portion of that days walk when I opened up to her about
my past issues with my great grandmother. I had lived with my great grandma
from a young age onward into my preteens. She was more like a mother to me than
a grandmother and duly my great grandpa (her husband) was more like a dad. I
looked up to him and because of that he was (and still is) my role model.
Unfortunately, he went in to the nursing home when I became twelve due to
Alzheimer’s, and died shortly after. Later, my great grandma sat me down to
talk to me. She begged me to not let her go in to the nursing home like her
husband did. I promised her and hugged her tightly. At thirteen, my mom came back
fully in to my life and took me back home to stay with her and my immediate
family. Several months after I left, my great grandmother fell, and she had to
be placed in to a nursing home. Up until that point on the Camino, I never
forgave myself for going back on my word with her. Ettele recommended for me to
listen to a Christian podcast called “Shame Off You” when we got to our
alburgue. It talked about the importance of forgiving yourself. After finishing
the podcast Et let me listen to, I went to the prayer room beside the alburgue.
It was a small room that had a couple of pews and a cross. The room had so much
less than what I had seen in all the other churches my group and I had visited
thus far. But I think that quality gave it a homier feel. It was not as
intimidating to me as the other more “official” churches with paintings of
scenes on the bible that I did not know and other miscellaneous objects used
for services that gave the places of worship a more inhospitable vibe. This
prayer room, however, seemed like a nice, quiet place to be alone. I went there
to ask God if he could ask my great grandma if she blamed me for letting her go
in to the nursing home. I prayed as hard as I could and I got no answer back. I
wasn’t going to stop though, so I kept praying. After no answer from Him I
stopped to think. I looked around for a sign, because I know God wouldn’t bring
me all the way to this point just to leave me alone. God won’t leave me in the
desert without water. I looked at my great grandma’s handkerchief and there it
was. She had forgiven me this whole time. She’s been with me throughout my life
watching over me and helping me through life’s trials. I started to cry out of
this realization. I used the kerchief to wipe away my tears and it was like my great
grandma herself was there to wipe away my tears.
This experience carried over with me every day after I
forgave myself. I started to forgive myself for things I would do wrong, and
did wrong in the past. I became less upset at myself for my faults. Since I was
able to forgive myself, it became much easier to forgive others. This lightened
a burden that I had been carrying with me for years and also allowed me to
experience other things without feeling shame. Since I knew that my great
grandmother forgave me, I could look back at the lessons she had taught me and
the experiences I had with her and during that time without guilt. I could
reflect on who I was then, and why I was like that. It gave me a whole new
perspective on my life that I will not soon forget.
Austin Norryce was a Computer Information System student emphasizing
in Software Development at Lander University. His abroad program was
experienced on the Camino de Santiago’s Via de la Plata during the summer of
2015. Austin plans to work on company software, learn more IT skills outside of
work and generally try to progress his career further as a software engineer.
You can see his work at www.linkedin.com/in/michaelnorryce1.