Melody Brawner: A Larger Home

I fiddled with the handle, but the door didn’t move. In fact, it didn’t even budge. After glancing around at the students who were rushing past to get dinner, I overcame my sheepishness and timidly peered through the glass doors. The room was perfect. Lander’s Bearcat Lounge was complete with comfy couches clustered around tables that were ideal for a causal meet-up place. Well, it was perfect except for the fact that I still toted a large bag of supplies, including tea stuffed canisters and my laptop, on my shoulder. Additionally, the last time I, the president of Lander’s International Coffee Hour, had gone to the gym, I fell off the treadmill and hurriedly be-bopped back to my dorm red-faced without a single push-up. So, here was my dilemma: I had no key, no way to set up my supplies, and no super-human (or even slightly strong) muscles to pry open the doors. I was locked out.

As part of my internship at Lander University’s International Program and my TESOL certification process, I created International Coffee Hour to lessen the cultural gap of students on campus. I hoped that the relaxed, student-led environment would provide an opportunity to make friends, practice English, and exchange cultures with others while enjoying a cup of coffee or tea. Basically, unlike other aspects of my internship where I dealt with more of the mechanics of English and student empowering teaching techniques, I hoped that International Coffee Hour would basically just be new friends getting together and talking. After all, environment, rather than the classroom, furthers English fluency and cultural sharing the most. So far, although it was small and pretty structured, the group had been successful. However, now the room that my vice-president had reserved was dark and dismal. This group’s meeting had come to a literal standstill.

I glanced at my phone: 6:30pm. I still had thirty minutes before the meeting started. So, I called International Coffee Hour's vice president, the Lander police, and even my fiancé to double check if there was another way to get into the room. Since the room was actually reserved through the student center, the police could not unlock the door without breaking protocol. However, after much over-the-phone coaching, I found a way in. I snuck through a side door located in one of Lander’s on-campus restaurants. For a moment, I was elated, but the feeling was the fleeting. Darkness still shrouded the room; there was simply no way to turn on the lights. Furthermore, the door was still technically locked. All the students would have repeat my underhanded sidestep of the issue if they wanted to get in. So, I walked outside the room, despairingly sat down on our university’s pleather cushion, leaned over my computer, and began to pound out an e-mail to the group. By this point, people were gathering around my area, but I had no idea if it was for my group or just part of the college late-dinner crowd. Then, I saw them. Two fellow students approached me with baffled but interested looks.

“Are you here for the International Coffee Hour?”, one asked.

“Yes!” My eyes flitted from the forsaken room to the newcomers. “But, unfortunately we can’t meet in our room tonight.  We had some issues with reserving it,” I mentally stumbled for ideas. “but would you still want to meet? If you want you guys can go to the lobby, and I’ll meet you in a couple minutes to make sure people know where to go. I mean, I would still love to meet if you guys are able. It’s just a bit more unorganized.”

As they looked at each other, my heart sunk, but instead walking away, one of the girls suggested that we just meet in a room upstairs that they had used before for another club. It was typically always unlocked. Although completely flustered, I jumped at the idea. So, with a prayer that they would not leave, I rushed to the Which Which (the restaurant with the secret door), grabbed a menu, and scribbled a note for others who might show up later.





Photo retrieved from: www.glamourinthecounty.com

In the new room, my sense of structure was lost. At first, I still tried to remain in control, if you will, by prompting the conversation with talking about different holidays. Yet, when people kept trickling in, and the conversation started to take a turn that was not originally my “theme” for the night, I realized something: this was exactly the informally that I had tried to reach in earlier meetings. People were talking with each other, enjoying each other’s company, pulling up cultural songs, like Korean K-Pop, and videos on YouTube, singing along, and even didn’t mind that the coffee and tea never arrived. Together we were sharing life. We were doing what mattered most: listening to each other and encouraging each other as fellow human beings. The structure of it didn't matter.

Still today, being more introverted, I still often feel intimated by approaching unknown people or environments; however, even when I fail, I am reminded about the importance of people rather than my own comfort zone. From this experience, I realized that structure is not everything. Although I certainly felt more comfortable previously in our predetermined room and my lesson-plan like guides of what to talk about, that wasn’t what mattered most. Getting locked out of the Bearcat Lounge taught me to open up and rely on others and the importance of flexibility.  Looking back, I realize that unfamiliarity ultimately did not displace me from my home of comfort, like I first perhaps felt. Instead, it has made my home so much larger- a home where others from different cultures are now an integral part. In fact, forsaking structure helped me to see the people and how they were teaching me even more than I hoped to do by creating the group. By opening me up to new cultures, new awareness to others’ needs, and a realization that unfamiliarity can be an opportunity rather than a hurdle, I realized that no matter where I am, with the right people and mindset, I will always be at home.



Melody Brawner recently graduated from Lander University as an Honors English major and International Studies minor. In addition to interning with Lander’s International Program as a teacher’s assistant and personal tutor, Melody became TESOL certified in 2015. She also has presented her research on teaching English  as a second language (ESL) at regional and national conferences, including the 2016 Student Success in Writing Conference (SSWC) and the 2016 Alpha Chi National Convention. Melody hopes to teach ESL or pursue another occupation that utilizes her skills and love for culture and the English language.